I just got back from putting together my requirements to officially “withdraw” from college. I say “withdraw” with quotation marks because the word makes it seem like it was my choice to leave.
Spoiler: it wasn’t.
In fact, I fought tooth and nail to stay in my university. I wanted to be there so bad. Unfortunately, it didn’t want me.
There are many aspects of my Getting Kicked Out of College that I could talk about. There was the fact that I transferred highschools senior year to make the cut, the ambitious zeal that led me to choose one of the best universities in my country, but there was also the severe terror I experienced as I started seeing a doctor for my mental health again and professors constantly being unjust toward my major. However, those are topics for another time. Right now, I want to talk about the future and how I’m getting through things.
Maybe I’ll make a list.
- Get kicked out of college
- Cry for a while
- Decide whether I want to go back (note: Yes)
- Find a school to transfer to
- Cry a lot, probably
I’m currently at number 4. My friend goes to a fairly non-academically focused school and I talked to the admissions committee in my previous school and, apparently, if I get good enough grades, I’ll probably get accepted back. I’m hoping that that’s true.
I haven’t quite gotten through the Crying step, since I haven’t really been thinking about it. I’ve been trying my best to not think about it, actually. I got really sad after finding out that I wasn’t coming back for this schoolyear, but after meeting with some friends and convincing them that I’m going to be back, I convinced myself that it’s not that big of a deal. I don’t really know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s a thing.
Right now, I’m fixing my documents to transfer schools and trying to ignore all the sadness.