I have often had the dilemma between asking for help or doing it myself. In my mind, it appears weak when I ask for help, especially for something my peers can do. However, there are times when my mental illness gets in the way of what I need to do and although I accept that it is in part my fault, it is also because of my mental illness.

It’s a tricky subject. Sometimes I’m so terrified of using my mental illness as “an excuse” that I end up not mentioning it at all. Sometimes there are tasks I can still achieve despite it although it would always be less than what I think I can do.

I once had to reschedule a midterm exam for my math class because I was bedridden in my dorm the whole day. The professor was accommodating but I’m always scared that he’s taking note of this and thinking I was just feeling lazy or unprepared. I’m scared of going into details as well because I don’t want to be seen as asking for special treatment.

I’m not sure where I stand on whether I should talk about my mental illness extensively to help others understand or risk them misinterpreting what I’m trying to do. On one hand, I don’t want to feel obligated to talk about my illness and oftentimes people start giving me advice I didn’t ask for. On the other hand, I want people to know that I’m not unprepared and that I try my best.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

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